Ben Braeden's Family Tree Report
by HalosandHeroes
Summary: Ben gets in a little trouble when handing in a report on his new family. Mr. Lawrence is not amused by his 'imagination'. Part of Vessels 'Verse.


**Open for suggestions if y'all wanna see something specific! No slash, smut, ect… You get the idea.**

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Mr. Lawrence's eyebrows rose as he looked at Ben's report. "Ben… You know this was supposed to be a report on your family tree, right?"

"So?"

"You're related to angels, the antichrist, and a few mass murderers?"

He rubbed the back of his neck; Mom was _so_ gonna kill him, have Mike bring him back, and then make him look after Uncle Pete and Gabe. "Uh… Yeah?"

"Just- Ben, I'm sending you to see the counselor."

Screw that; _Uncle Sam_ was gonna kill him now.

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My name's Ben Braeden, and I have a pretty crazy family. See, it used to just be me and my mom, until this cool guy named Dean and his geeky brother rolled into our lives in a pretty wicked Impala. Mom and Dean used to date, and even though he isn't my birth dad, Dean has become my awesome new dad.

My mom is an orphan who never knew her parents. She teaches yoga at the health center and volunteers at our church on the weekends with my new uncle. She doesn't talk about her past much, but she loves our big wacko family more than anything.

We met Sam and Dean when some monster took me and tried to eat my mom three years ago. They killed it and rode off into the sunset until about ten months ago.

Dean and Sam are hunters - of the monster variety, not boring old deer. They go around the country and kill the boogeyman and other fuglies. They even have a super cool arsenal in their trunk and these really wicked guns! When they aren't out hunting things, Dean works in Mr. Meyer's garage and Sam is an assistant pastor at The Rock; it's a church that he helped found a year ago.

Dean is the coolest guy I have ever met. He takes me for rides in his Impala, tells some really funny stories, and know _all_ the best songs. He taught me how to fight, not that my mom was thrilled about it, and wants to teach me to handle a gun one day. Sometimes, he even brings me pie from these really cool places all over the globe.

Sam's okay, but he always is trying to get me to 'apply' myself in school so I can go to a fancy college and not end up like the serial killers he and Dean are accused of being. He always seems to know just what to say, though, and holds together our crazy family like nothing else.

Sam and Dean have two other brothers; Adam and Pete. Adam's a stick in the mud, but he cares about us all and is always willing to help me with science or history. Pete's a little more fun and loves to teach me pranks with Gabriel's help. Adam and Pete are only Dean and Sam's half brothers, but it doesn't stop them from being close.

All four of the Winchesters are Vessels for the Archangels, but Sam doesn't host one because, well, it's the _Devil_. He acts as a sort of lock on the cage keeping the Devil in Hell until it's time for the real apocalypse, and not the fake one that happened last year. It didn't stop people from trying to kill him, claiming he was the antichrist, whatever _that_ is. Adam hosts Raphael, who Dean calls the Teenage Mutant Ninja Angel; Pete hosts Gabriel; and Dean hosts Michael, which Mom isn't super thrilled about.

There's a few other angels that hang around, but they're more like those weird cousins you only see at Christmas and Four of July. There's Castiel (Puppy Eyes, as Pete and his girlfriend call him), Balthazar (he taught me how to make a Plan D), Anna (meh… she's okay, I guess), Samandriel (he gives me free hot dogs from his job), and Gadreel and Flagstaff. They've taken it upon themselves to be my bodyguards and even found a de-aging spell in Aunty Missouri's books to follow me at school.

Pete is dating this girl named Noel, but he told us he's going to marry her this Christmas, so that kind of makes her my aunt. She lives in Denmark with her older brother and dad, and all the elves that work for them. Noel's dad is Santa Claus, so I'm pretty much guaranteed what I want for Christmas if I'm good. Chris, her brother, is going to take over the present runs here in a few years.

I have another aunt, Aunty Missouri, who's so close she might as well be family. She's psychic and doesn't take anything from Dean and dotes on Sam, much to Adam's and Pete's amusement. She also makes the _best_ pie, even better than the stuff Mike and Dean brought back from their last minute trip to the Netherlands two months ago. She's not around all that much and is trying to patch up her relationship with her son.

This summer, I get to go up to see Gramps. His name's really Bobby and was like a dad to my new dad and uncles, so that makes him my grandpa. Mostly, I call him Gramps because it drives him crazy. Any way, he and his new wife Ellen and her daughter, Jo, are gonna let me come up and learn to shoot and rebuild cars and help Dean and Sam research.

Gramps and Ellen finally got hitched when Jo and her good friend Charlie started conspiring together. Gabe locked them in Gramps' panic room until they admitted their feelings. Hunters from all over came to the wedding, and I hurt from all the pokes and slaps I got for being 'Baby Winchester'. But it was worth it.

There's these other guys that drop in ever once in a while. Chuck and his son Joe, who looks a little too old to be Chuck's kid, come on Easter and Christmas. Sam told me their distantly related cousins or great uncles or something a while ago. There's also these dudes that he says are his brothers in Christ and work at The Rock with him, mostly Jude and Neil stop by after work on Fridays with Sam. I'm not sure if I can consider them family, but they're my uncle's brothers of sorts, so I put them in here.

Chuck told Sam a few weeks ago that his girlfriend was going to come back from the dead because the demon Azazel took her before she was meant to die. Her name's Jess, and they're already thinking about getting married on November 2 because it's an important day for them. Dean and Raphael and Gramps are fighting over names for their kids already. Dean says Dean Jr., Gramps likes the name Erik, and Raphael is trying to convince them on the name Lazarus. Sam and Jess told me that they like the names Mary and Jack if they ever get pregnant.

Charlie and Jo have been helping Jess and Noel plan their weddings because Pete and Sam have been out with their brothers and the archangels looking for this chick called Eve that some monsters let out last year. Sam say he wants Chuck or Joe to marry them.

I also have an uncle named Loki and another uncle named Thor, but Pete and Sam said I can't meet them until I'm fifteen. Something about them being too abrasive for a kid like me? Either way, Sam and Thor go out for storm watching and pop tarts every third Tuesday. Dean still refuses to speak to Loki because of a hunt they met on a few years back.

Maybe the coolest part of the whole thing is that Dean got my mom pregnant a few months ago and I'm going to be a big brother soon! If it's a girl, they're going to name her Sarah, or Jim if it's a boy. Dean won't let the angels ruin the surprise until we're done moving into the big house Gabriel got for us somehow. It's on the beach of one of the Hawaiian islands.

Yeha, my family is a little unconventional (Sam taught me that word) and coocoo for cocoa puffs, but in the end, they're my family. Gramps always said that family doesn't end in blood, and I believe him. Because, without my new family, life would really suck.


End file.
